So I hadn't realized I was turning 32 this Sunday. I know time is constant, but it feels especially accelerated after you turn 25. And who the hell counts after 25? Maybe birthdays and holidays are just not as important to me as they are to some people. I know I'm not old, but I sure as hell feel old.
I hope my gloomy disposition isn't contagious. I haven't been doing so great-- you'd know this if you read my previous journal entry. Though I'm managing it day by day. I do take happy pills to tread through the anxiety and insomnia for now. It's been nothing but bad news after bad news since Isaac's ordeal. Two weeks after his incident Chance's grandmother had a major stroke and was hospitalized. Three days after that Chance's grandfather passed away. Two weeks after that my father couldn't breathe and his heart almost gave up. Now I'm afraid to answer the phone when someone calls. It's like what now? Who's next? Shit. It's only February-- I still have to survive 10 more months of 2014?!
Anyhow, I haven't been in the same mindset mentally and emotionally so I haven't really had the heart to pick up my charcoals. I am starting a new portfolio this year and I'm going to move up to a size larger this time. I said I wanted this new one to be more focused on illustrations and original work-- which is what I wanted to do from when I first picked up a pencil and a sketchbook. I think for me to be able to satisfy my attention to details and more movement, then I would need a larger space. I really liked my 9" x 12" drawings, it's not too big nor too small, but it was perfect for my portraits. Now I want to do more than just faces so I really need bigger paper. Though big pieces intimidate me and I kind of don't have room to store them. So I thought it would be safe to just try a little bigger first and make my way up to really large pieces. My new portfolio size will be 14" x 17" which is significantly bigger than 9" x 12" in my opinion. We'll see how it goes.
Since my portfolio will be much bigger, I don't have a place for 2 of my drawings. "Campy Faery Tales" and "Looking Miles into the Past" are both 9" x 12" and were completed after I had already finished my first portfolio. So I decided to sell "Looking Miles..." on my Etsy shop. I'm selling the original drawing, not a print. I think I may give away "Campy..." but I haven't completely decided on it yet. If not, then I'll sell that one too.
If anyone is interested in buying "Looking Miles into the Past":www.etsy.com/shop/MeksInthavon…
Chance, my husband, will be buying me a convection oven for my birthday. I know, I never ask for typical, conventional gifts. I will be able to start sculpting again. I know my faery to Simone broke when she received it so I want to redeem myself and make her a new and better one. I would also like to make something for Eric. I don't plan on sculpting a lot of things-- they take soooo long to complete because I'm a novice. So these are my goals for creativity this year-- so long as I have no more bad news for the rest of the year.
I hope everyone is doing well and are having a much more creative time than I am. Take care and be safe.