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It's been awhile since I last posted a journal entry. I was never good at keeping a journal even as a child. So this comes to no surprise that I last put up an entry about 2 1/2 years ago. And honestly, is anyone even reading these?
Though I hope everyone is doing well. I have been keeping myself busy. I have a bit of good news to share.
I've started my own website: https://desdainart.com
I had a little shift in reality in the middle of last year and I won't get into it. It changed a lot of things and stirred up many realizations internally. I've realized things had to change and I can't keep coasting any longer. Besides, I'm not the coast
Coldrain Train
I just realized the last time I posted a journal entry was May of last year. A year ago, I was in a much darker place. I'm very open about being manic-depressive and I go through these roller coaster episodes of ups and downs.
This last depressive episode lasted about a year and a half. I think that's the longest I've ever been depressed before. Usually I can kick it off within weeks, but no more than 6 months. Hence only completing one drawing out of that year and a half. I become completely useless when I'm at my lowest. I rather just ferment in my own self loathing and self punishment. No matter how much it aches, I will do everything I c
FREE EOS Case!!!
I have been in this depressive slumber since last summer. I'm trying to slap and kick myself out of it, but it doesn't seem to be working. My last completed drawing was July 2014. I know. Almost a year ago. I would start projects and not complete them. First world problems. Sigh.
I started making small EOS Cases because I'm completely obsessed with this lip balm. They are small so they don't require a lot of commitment. I just don't have the energy for huge, long projects. Knitting these cases everyday really helped keep my mind off my depressive tendencies.
Since I made so many, I'm offering to give them away for free. Seriously, no charge
Confessions of Obsessions
I have not submitted a new journal entry since June-- I'm just really horrible about keeping my monthly journal habit because it's obviously not a habit. Though most times I don't think anyone is reading anyway so it is always the absolute last thing I think about when I log in to dA and it's usually me saying, "Fuck it-- do it later." Then all of the sudden, it's months later.
I don't really have anything new or exciting in my life ever happening-- I'm pretty much a hermit with loud thoughts. Most of them are kept to myself-- I can assure you that it's best for everyone. Though it's 12:00 midnight and I did something really dumb and took a
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"...ironic because I have a drowning phobia..."
I'm glad you can... I, on the other hand, refuse to draw my phobia... horses.
Awesome to hear that you are 85% functional after x-amount of months. I'm getting worse... no happy pills, insane amount of stress, no time for creativity, but overwhelmed with ideas.
Do you have an onslaught of ideas, or had that been hampered? Wasn't sure if depression/anxiety only gave you the i-dont-give-a-fricks or if it also took away ideas.
Glad to see you up-and-about.
I'm glad you can... I, on the other hand, refuse to draw my phobia... horses.
Awesome to hear that you are 85% functional after x-amount of months. I'm getting worse... no happy pills, insane amount of stress, no time for creativity, but overwhelmed with ideas.
Do you have an onslaught of ideas, or had that been hampered? Wasn't sure if depression/anxiety only gave you the i-dont-give-a-fricks or if it also took away ideas.
Glad to see you up-and-about.